my baby Nico

he's growing up too fast and it makes me happy and sad at the same time.. how i wish his dad was here to witness every change and development he's been through. how i wish we're complete. "soon, babe. soon" i always tell my Nico. and he smiles at me as if he understand. i can't wait to see my baby playing with his dad. that would be the best feeling ever. soon, Monique. soon.

FACEBOOK TIMELINE

ok. so love ko na ulit ang facebook ngayon, kahit na may feeds padin sa gilid. feeling ko kasi stalker mode ang dating ko kahit hindi naman ako nang iistalk (bakit ba kasi kailangan pang may ganon?!). wala lang.. just sharing. ang alam ko kasi by October pa ilalabas yang bagong facebook timeline. ^_^

I'm baaaack!

I've been gone for so long, I don't even know where to start. *thinking*

Leggo!

I gave birth on August 1st to a healthy baby boy, and the story goes like this...

July 30 - Sleep over at ate's house. Been hoping to give birth a little earlier than August 7 that's why me and Carlo (my nephew) watched like 6 horror/suspense movies in a row. My tummy started to ache (a little) that night.

July 31 - (tummy's still aching a bit) went to Gimli, a two-hour drive not so good looking beach, with the family. We arrived there like 1 or 2 in the afternoon. The kids went swimming, etc. and I, on the other-hand, was just observing the pain and contractions I'm feeling. At about 5 in the afternoon I talked to my sister and told her that I maybe am in labor. And yes I really am. On our way home, the pain starts to get more intense and I'm having contractions every 5 minutes (I can still smile, though). When we arrived home, I took a shower and packed my things and went straight to the hospital. We arrived there at 7:15 in the evening. They put me in a room where they check and prioritize the patients (triage). Upon having the internal examination, the nurse told me that my cervix is 3 cm dilated and my contractions are regular. At this stage, I know I can still go home. But then the monitor they put in my tummy says otherwise. I had a problem. Every time my uterus contracts, my baby's heartbeat slows down. And this is very worrisome. The doctor told me that if the condition goes on, the baby might feel very tired and may go on to fetal distress. I was shocked. It felt like the whole world is spinning around me. So the doctor advised me to stay. My water broke at 8:10 pm and I'm already 4 cm dilated. They transferred me to the Critical Care unit (my baby's still being monitored so I didn't had the chance to stand up and walk). As my cervix continues to dilate and as the pain intensifies, I asked for the epidural. I'm a very ticklish person so the doctor had to poke me two times.

August 1 - 8 cm dilated at 12 am. Fully dilated (10 cm) at 2 am. Oh yes, I'm in epidural, but you can't escape the pain of pushing the baby out. And the worst part? They didn't cut my perineum right away. The result: lacerations. 

Honestly, I can't imagine how I did it. I remember my sister telling me that my face looks like it was about to burst. It was all red as if all the nerves in it has exploded. But then, when I saw Nicolai and heard him cry... Oh my.. It was all worth it.. I cried. And I didn't even noticed.

He is a blessing. And I will always thank God for him. :)

ok, so i didn't finish the 30 day picture challenge thingy. i've been very busy sleeping, eating, and browsing the net for the past few days. and i've been waiting for nicolai since i reached my 37th week. but until now he's not yet here. maybe i'm just too excited. anyway, my due date is still on august 7 and that's 2 weeks from now. maybe i'll just have to wait. and that's the only thing i can do for now. buying baby stuffs, my favorite past time as of now. and i so love it. i'm excited to be a mom :)

Day 27 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of last summer

Duty at UST hospital. Summer time is duty time for nurses!

Day 26 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your favorite weekend

House blessing and surprise baby shower. Totally speechless. This was my favorite weekend so far. :)

Day 25 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of a night you loved

The night after our wedding. :) Not because of the honeymoon or something, but because it was our 1st night as husband and wife. We went home together, slept together, ate together, as a married couple. It feels awesome.

The Sweetest Thing

Thank you my.. Ingat kayo palagi, can't wait na makita ko kayong dalawa na naghihintay sakin.. Sarap ng feeling na yun, aalagaan mo sya habang wala pa ako ha, i miss u! Love you my.

From my hubby. Makes my heart melt. I'm so in love! ♥

Day 24 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you that your hair looks nice in

I have lots of photos wherein my hair looks nice. I chose this one because my I miss my long hair. But I don't think I'll have this hair again. I'm loving the shorter one and I'm planning to have a haircut soon. 

Day 23 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your friend as a baby

NORTH. He's the 1st thing that came to my mind. I remember he used this as his dp in facebook. So cute! So oinky. LOL! Peace Northy! I miss you! ^_^

Day 22 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your town

This picture was taken last year. Downtown. I don't have any photos of the whole town so I just posted this one. At least I'm the one who took it. ^_^ 

Day 21 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you standing up

Super stolen photo last June 30, Carlo's graduation. Hot momma? :) Well, they always tell me I don't look pregnant when my back's facing them. Yes, I gained some weight, but not that much. And my arms and legs are still the same, they're not bigger or anything. And I love it! 

Day 20 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of something you enjoy doing

SHOPPING! Well, who doesn't?! I feel alive and ecstatic whenever we go shopping. And even in my situation, I never get tired of walking and walking and walking. I never complain. ^_^

Day 19 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you on a school trip

During our college tour at Zoobic Safari. Didn't enjoy much. It's raining and we're roaming around the zoo riding the bus instead of walking. Didn't get to see the other animals too. But as we all say, the BUS is where the happiest part is. I enjoyed being with my hubby, my friends, and my classmates. The videoke-ing part, it's better than watching a movie while on the road. And of course, the drinking session while on our way home. College life's the best! 

Day 18 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of one of your classes

junette, me, star, hazelle

During our Nursing Leadership & Management class, if I'm not mistaken. I can't remember anymore. LOL! I miss you guys so much! Let's hang out again. Starbucks? :)

LMAO! Big Tummy Me!

Day 17 (Picture Challenge)

A drunk photo of you

I think this was the last time I got drunk. Taken somewhere around October, 2010 at The Gate. Ariane Arabit's birthday. And then after a couple of drinks at The Gate, we went straight to Tepang's birthday celebration and continued drinking there. I remember I brought the car with me and I drove home half awake already (thank god i'm still alive). 

Day 16 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you at the last party you went to

my 22nd birthday at Hooters Restaurant

Day 15 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you and someone you love

my hubby & me

Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines and romance in the movies. We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favorite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams. Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all -- one known only by those who love. 

Day 14 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of one of your favorite family members

Gold, Gail, me

I can't choose between them. They're both my favorite. The closest thing to me. I feel like a child whenever I'm with them. I feel free. Like I can do anything in front of them, eat whatever I want, say whatever I want to say. They are my comfort zone. I love them. And I know they do, too. I miss them so much especially our bonding moments together. The camera tripping, the movie marathons, food trip, laugh trip, malling. I so love them. And I hope I can be with them again soon. 

Day 13 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your best friend(s)

LOTZ

From left to right: Shyra, Lea, Camille, Jinky, Abbey, Hershey, me, Marla

My DABARKADS. 3rd year high school, I can still remember. Lea is my best friend of all. They are the ones who laugh at my jokes when they're not so good, and who sympathizes with my problems when they're not so bad. They bring out the best in me. I know nobody's perfect, but they will always be perfect for me. ^_^

Leonel Ray Balba

He has been my best friend since 1st year high school. Well, everything is unexpected between us. The 1st time he talked to me, I find him very weird and irritating. LMAO! He's so mayabang and all. Keeps gossiping about our classmates' "ugly side". But then, he's very sweet! And I feel very comfortable whenever we're together. ^_^

Day 12 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you

My not so latest pic. Haven't been taking pictures for a while. I feel so lazy that I can't even get my phone or camera to take a snap.

Day 11 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your favorite film(s)

TOO MANY TO MENTION. LOL!

Harry Potter

When I started watching Harry Potter, I felt as if a new world was beginning to open for me. It felt like magic (no pun intended), like suddenly I could escape from reality every once in a while and live in the world of Harry Potter. And just by reading the books (even without the movies) already gave me the feeling as if it was real. And the characters are amazing too, they made me laugh, cry, scared and I could relate to them too. So.. ^_^

The Twilight Saga

I love the fantasy love romance side of this story. I dreaded watching the movie the first time since I don't like scary or ghost movies that much. But since then, I'm hooked into it. And I even read the whole book (saga). I love the seductive and inviting side of Edward and the innocence and fragile Bella. The romance is something I enjoy, and I feel that it's a magical place where I can connect to real love and feel that it exists.

Step Up 2 & 3

I am a dancer. Well, I used to be. ;) And if you're a dancer, you will want to see it, and you will definitely love it. It's very competitive and intense, but it makes you want to dance.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S A LOT MORE! AND I CAN'T REMEMBER THE TITLES ANYMORE. LMAO! I'LL JUST CONTINUE THIS POST SOME OTHER TIME. ^_^

July 2011 NLE Room Assignments

click image to enlarge

Wee! Too small to read! Well anyways, the board exam is scheduled on the 2nd and 3rd of July, 2011. My hubby is assigned in Room 401 Monzon Hall Building Manuel L. Quezon University Quiapo, Manila. Seat number is 21. There's only 1 week left. Please help us pray for him and his co-examiners for them to be able to pass the board exam. Thank you!

Day 10 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you as a baby

Because I don't have any baby photos with me and in my facebook account, I just chose this one. A photo of me when I was a child. This shot was taken in Baguio. My age? I can't remember anymore. LOL! Memories.. :)

To My One & Only Love

It may be sad that we are apart on this day, but know that things are about to change. :) 

Happy birthday dy! I love you so much! ♥

While You're Away

Because at this point in time, that's the only thing I can do. I imagine. You by my side, holding me tightly, hugging me gently, kissing me good night.

Day 9 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your family

From left to right: kuya Marte & ate Grayze, dad & mom, ate Len & kuya Pau
Bottom: me & Lev

Obviously, this is not the whole family picture. My other sister and her family is in Canada. And also, I have 2 nieces and 3 nephews from ate Grayze and kuya Marte, 1 nephew and 2 nieces from ate Len and kuya Pau, and 2 nephews and 1 niece from ate Juvy and kuya Remar. Hopefully, when the right time comes, we'll have the best family picture ever.

GUY 1: I think I'm beginning to fall for another person. Can't help it, there are just too many girls out there and my girl's just too plain.

GUY 2: Be contented. Yes, there are people who are greater than her. There are people who are more attractive, more intelligent, more caring. That's life - full of temptations. But don't be deceived by those things. Because didn't you ever realize that there are people who are also greater than you? Yet she chose you.

Source: Marla Ramirez

Day 8 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of your favorite band or musician

The Black Eyed Peas

They're just simply awesome. Their beats are unique and indescribable. They're everywhere. :)

Alicia Keys - Distance and Time

No matter how far you are

No matter how long it takes him

Through distance and time

I'll be waiting

Day 7 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of someone you love

My life, my everything

Sometimes I think my hubby is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.

April 15, 2011 at Fontana Water Park, Clark Field Pampanga

Day 6 (Picture Challenge)

A photo that makes you laugh

I know, we're sisters. We look a bit like each other. But it doesn't mean we need to have the same facial expression. LOL! I so love her!

Day 5 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of you

This was taken last Friday, June 17, 2011

My latest picture so far.

7:45 PM

Seriously? 7:45 pm? When I was here last year (winter time), the sun sets at around 5:30 pm. But now, we eat our dinner at around 10:30 pm because the sun sets at 9 pm. LOL! It's kinda hard to adjust, but I love it!

Day 4 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of the last place you went on holiday

Fontana Water Park, Clark Field Pampanga

Celebration of my mom, paulyn, and dad's birthday.

Day 3 (Picture Challenge)

A photo that makes you happy

Our wedding day

Knowing we're still together after all the hardships we've been through, keeping in mind that we're still connected even though we're apart from each other, and realizing that after all these years, we are truly meant to be.

Nicolai's 1st ultrasound

As a first time mom, I really can't explain how happy I am when I saw my baby on his 1st ultrasound. Tears fell from my eyes as I watch him sleep inside my womb. And the happiest part of it? When I saw him move like he was dancing when Levin entered the room.

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

- Abraham Lincoln

The Tales Of Beedle The Bard

Actually, I've only read the first part of the book. I don't wanna go further because I might like it and might finish it earlier than expected. So for now, I'm reserving it 'til the day Nicolai is born. So that I can read it not only to myself, but to him.

Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino

I so miss drinking coffee, especially this one. I remember when I was still in the Philippines, all we do is hang out at Starbucks during the weekends, or after class, or whenever we want to. Starbucks for me is a place of freedom and friendship. It's a place for everybody.

I miss Starbucks. I miss coffee. I miss my friends. I miss Philippines.

Day 2 (Picture Challenge)

A photo of yourself a year ago

June 13, 2010

Taken at a mall dressing room.

This is me about a year ago. Skinny, long haired, and free of responsibilities.

Our New Home

Located at 954 Boyd Avenue Winnipeg, Manitoba
Possession date is on July 1, 2011

Since I'm gonna have a baby, my family and I decided to buy a new house. Yes, it's a bit small but it's cute. And it's still a home. Not bad for starters like us. Especially me and lev. Thank god my parents are still very supportive. And I'm glad I still have them by my side. The only thing that's missing in my life now is my husband. Hopefully, he'll be here soon. My own family, in our own home.

Life Still Has A Meaning

If there is a future, there is time for mending

Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.

Life is never hopeless how great your sorrow

If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.

If there is time for wishing, then there is time for hoping

When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.

Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling

If there is time for praying there is time for healing.

So if through your window there is a new day breaking

Thank god for the promise, though mind and soul be aching.

If the harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning

There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.

Love And Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings, emotions and attributes lived: Joy, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to them that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love wanted to wait until the last possible moment but when the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Greed was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love asked, “Greed, can you take me with you?” Greed answered, “No, I can’t. My boat is too full of gold so there is no room for you here.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful boat. “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, “Sadness, can I come with you?” “Oh Love, I am so sad so I need to be by myself!”

Joy passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder.

So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going or who he was. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.

Love wanted to thank the elder that had helped him so he asked Knowledge, “Who was it that Helped me?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?” Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,

“Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is.”

Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

My Husband, The Man Of My Dreams

After being together for 4 years and 7 months, we finally got married. And now, we're so excited to see the most wonderful gift god has ever given us, our precious little boy.

Train - Marry Me

Hearing this song makes me miss my husband even more.

Day 1 (Picture Challenge)

Your facebook profile photo

Shot taken by kuya Remar

May 15, 2011 at Kildonan park

Celebration of my birthday and kuya Remar's

30 Day Picture Challenge

1. Your facebook profile photo
2. A photo of yourself a year ago
3. A photo that makes you happy
4. A photo of the last place you went on holiday
5. A photo of you
6. A photo that makes you laugh
7. A photo of someone you love
8. A photo of your favourite band/musician
9. A photo of your family
10. A photo of you as a baby
11. A photo of your favourite film(s)
12. A photo of you
13. A photo of your best friend(s)
14. A photo of one of your favourite family members
15. A photo of you and someone you love
16. A photo of you at the last party you went to
17. A drunk photo of you
18. A photo of one of your classes
19. A photo of you on a school trip
20. A photo of something you enjoy doing
21. A photo of you standing up
22. A photo of your town
23. A photo of your friend as a baby
24. A photo of you that your hair looks nice in
25. A photo of a night you loved
26. A photo of your favourite weekend
27. A photo of last summer
28. A photo of what you ate today
29. A photo of someone you find attractive
30. A photo of you when you were happy

Long Distance Relationship Scenario

The hardest part in any relationship is saying goodbye to that one very special person in your life. Mas mabuti pa nga ata yong mag break nalang kayo for a moment kesa nasa malayo yong isa & the other has to wait. And we all know naman that everyone hates the burden of waiting, especially of unsured things. Ang dami ding tanong pag dating sa LDR, like:

How could you work out the relationship when you are not together? Meron bang nagtatagal with that setup? or, Pano pag nakahanap siyang iba don?

Worst things could not or could happen, since there are no permanent things in this mundane world. In LDR, walang “WINNER” dahil pareho kayong “LOSER”, especially when you miss each other so much and there’s no possible way para makita niyo ang isa’t isa, since you are stucked somewhere.

Communication is essential in everything we do.

Pero kadalasan ito ang nagiging problema ng couples in LDR. Iba-iba kasi ang coping mechanism ng tao. Pwedeng si guy para hindi niya masyadong maisip si girl, he’ll maybe stop texting or calling his girlfriend for a while o kahit anong means of communication. Eh kaso lang si girl kabaliktaran, she wants it to be constant para hindi niya mamiss si guy. Ang gulo no? Pero ganon talaga, stressful ang malagay sa isang LDR. Meron pang times na may trust issues, lalo na pag may na observe or nakitang something new ang partner mo sayo like sa pictures on FB with some good looking girl or guy na naka akbay pa or anything with sweet gestures. Kaya lagot ka pag alam partner mo ang password ng mga social networking site mo.

So, lesson for everyone: Never make things that could possibly make your partner jealous, nakakasira ng relationship lang yon.

Kaya mag delete agad ng mga messages ng walang ebidensya at problema. Hahaha!

Here are my simple reminders!

Para sa naiwan:

It’s ok to miss someone but you must also know how to save your heart, mahirap magkasakit sa puso men! You should never expect, assume or demand, know your limits, role in relationship, and where you stand. Wag kang masyadong affected, paranoid or jealous. Just wait for your partner to contact you, sigurado namang mamimiss ka non.

Just go with the flow and as much as possible make yourself busy and happy.

Mahirap gawin pero kelangan para hindi mag worry yong nasa malayo and that your partner knows that you trust him/her.

Para sa nang iwan:

Do your part as well. Be sure to contact your partner once in awhile dahil hind 24 hours busy ang tao. If you two use FB, then drop a sweet message that could make your partner's day.

Just simply say that “i miss you” or “i love you”. That’s pretty enough, yong tinatawag na assurance ba.

Be constant with the promises you had made, so that you won’t end up messing things or worst ending the relationship. There’s nothing sure on this earth. Changes, yon lang ata ang masasabing permananente dito. Kaya pag di nag work yong LDR, dahil mahirap naman talaga malagay on that case.

Sometimes it’s better to let go even though you love each other so much, than being sick of waiting or hating the fact that you can’t be together for a long time.

But if you are meant to be, kahit ilang years pa yan o kahit magkaron pa kayo ng iba, destiny na mismo ang gagawa ng way para magkita kayo.

Kasi sabi nga nila, kung kayo ang para sa isa’t isa, kayo padin pagdating sa huli.

Kaya hanggan andyan pa siya, cherish every moment of it. Never miss the chance to show your love, para wala kang pagsisisihan. At least, you could tell yourself that you did your best mapasaya lang siya.

Sabi nga sa text message: Never give a person a reason to stay but give him/her a reason to come back.

Just wait for that special one. Weather you are waiting as a friend or just simply wondering when he/she is returning. Because missing someone even you are not together just means that person did something that no one else could. Every relationships has it’s up and down, but love is the most precious thing on earth.

Specially loving someone unconditionally even from afar.